chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
