it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
