Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
