I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
