she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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