i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
