"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
