I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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