is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
