I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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