I am full of burrito and curiosity
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
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