K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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