dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
