ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
