NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
