you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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