you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
