I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
