That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
