I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Randomize
