she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
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