i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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