i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
