This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
