that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
