When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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