I'm really into asian looking animals
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I want her autograph on my taint
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Randomize
