I got chris browned last night
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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