He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
