After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
