Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
