I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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