i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
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Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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