She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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