Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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