he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
