Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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