anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
