We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
