I wish I only lived at night.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
