i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
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