so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
