I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
