We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
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