My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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