i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
