Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
