Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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