wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
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