I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I take back everything I said about communal showers
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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