and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Randomize
